Fangirling over Rainbow Rowell's Fangirl

I know it's very late, but HAPPY NEW YEAR! The last few months of 2015 were quite rough for me. I feel like there was too much drama in my life and I just realized that I might have got lost in it. This month, I want to start fresh. I want to get back the excitement and eagerness to develop myself that I once had. I want to focus on the important and precious things in my life. I want to enjoy doing the things that I love (I will write and read and watch films more!). I want to learn and do something new (I’m thinking of taking Korean language classes and going jogging and swimming regularly hehe). I want no more drama.

Anyways, I finished reading Rainbow Rowell's novel, Fangirl, during the Christmas holiday and I'm going to write what I think about it in this post, my first blog post in 2016!

Fangirl is a story about Cath, a girl who fangirls over her favorite fictional characters a little too hard (just like I do haha). Cath is really good at handling the fictional world, but when it comes to the real world, she really struggles because reality is even stranger than fiction. In this book, we follow Cath's journey throughout the first year of her college life, and might find some things there that are similar to our own experiences.

                                                

This book is the second book from Rainbow Rowell that I’ve read, and it has officially made her one of my favorite authors. I just love her writing; it’s so easy to read and makes you want to keep reading. Good job, Ms Rainbow Rowell!

The best thing about this book, in my opinion, is how relatable it is, especially for me. Just like Cath, I know how it feels like to be a clumsy, awkward person who is terrible at socializing, to be used by other people when they need your help with their homework because you are smart, to want to be alone in your room more than normal people do, to be scared to eat in the cafeteria alone on your first day of school because you just don't know anyone, to feel reluctant to have a relationship because you feel like you’re not good at dating…

But the thing that I find most relatable is how Cath feels about her favorite fictional characters.

Most of the people I know say that movies are just movies, books are just books, stories are just stories, Harry Potter is just a fictional character, Hogwarts is just a fictional place, etc. But for Cath, for me, and for other people like us who are usually called fangirls and fanboys, they are not just those things. For us, they are something. We love them. They make us happy. They help us get through the tough times in our lives. They help us understand people and their feelings. They teach us about life. They let us experience things that we might never be able to experience in real life. They mean a lot to us. There’s nothing wrong about being obsessed with books or films. Just like Daniel Radcliffe says, it is actually a good thing especially when compared to being obsessed with drugs, which can kill you. I love how these things are expressed in Cath’s story.

In the story, sometimes Cath likes to run away from real life and hide in Simon and Baz’s (her favorite fictional characters) world. I do that too sometimes because it feels good to be able to escape from our problems for a while. However, this story teaches me that we shouldn’t keep running away from life. It’s okay to do it sometimes, but we shouldn’t let ourselves be afraid of facing the real life. We have to be brave and face it, just like our heroes in the fictional world.

So, Fangirl is a really good book. It’s fun to read and has beautiful, meaningful messages. It will make your heart feel a little bit lighter, or at least make you smile. Go grab this book and read it!

That’s all from me today. I really need a new book to read right now but not really sure which book I should buy. I’m thinking of buying The Book Thief or The Martian. Hope I can get one of those after I get my salary at the end of the month haha.

Rating : 4/5

My Selfish Dead Heart

(I am in the middle of my long Christmas holiday and I'm just bored, so I decided to post another story. I've had this story for a long time. Hope you like it!)

                 Once upon a time, in a cold and grim city, there lived a young lady named Olivia. Olivia was breathtakingly beautiful. She was incredibly canny as well. But the one feature that was always associated with Olivia was that she always got what she wanted.

                “She always gets what she wants. Always,” her proud mother said. “But sometimes she becomes a little… aggressive in the process. Only a little,” she continued with a giggle.

People around Olivia did not really know how they felt about her. They admired her but were scared of her at the same time. They tried to avoid her as much as they could, leaving her with almost no friend at all. Almost, because she still had one friend: Joseph.

The calm boy met the avid girl when they both were very young and somehow found a way to keep up with her. Olivia loved how mysteriously silent Joseph was; her curiosity about him was insatiable. On the other hand, Joseph saw Olivia’s burning ambitions as something unique. He told her that he had never met any girl like her before. Years after their first meeting, they realized that they loved each other and decided to get married.

                Joseph’s and Olivia’s families were very busy preparing their wedding. They did everything that was necessary: inviting everyone they knew, ordering the best cooks to prepare the meals, designing a magnificent dress for the bride, and all other wedding stuff. The wedding would have been a perfect one if the horrifying thing had not happened two nights before the wedding day.

It was nearly midnight, and Olivia had to walk home alone. While she was rushing through the dark streets, two drunken men ambushed her.

“Where are you going, beautiful?” shouted one of the men while the other one was trying to hold Olivia’s arms. Olivia tried to push them away, but they started laughing. The man who was holding her tightened his grip and the other man ripped Olivia’s clothes. Olivia shrieked and cried desperately, so one of the men took a rock from the street and hit her head with it to silence her. The pain from the blow was the last thing she felt.

                Olivia turned into a ghost and flew to Joseph’s house. She found the man that she loved sitting on his own bed; his face looked vacuous.

“He must have found out about me,” Olivia thought. “Oh, my love, you must be devastated.”

She tried to reach Joseph’s shoulder with her hand, but she could not touch him. She tried again with both of her hands, but they were like smoke to Joseph’s solid flesh. Olivia was furious.

“Even though I can no longer touch your skin,” she swore in her rage, “I am not leaving you, my love. I am not letting you go.”

Olivia really did what she swore. She kept haunting Joseph wherever he went, not letting him forget about her. She made him see her shadow when he either closed or opened his eyes. She made him hear her voice when it was completely silent. She came to his darkest and most awful nightmares. She kept him mourning about her death. She tortured him.

                One day, the mournful Joseph went out drinking with his best friend, John. “You need to get your life back, my friend,” said John. “Let’s have some drink and forget your sorrow!”

The two men went to a pub that was owned by John’s friend, Gordon. While Gordon and John were chatting and drinking, Joseph’s eyes were locked to a girl behind the bar: Violet.

Violet was Gordon’s younger sister. Her hair was long and dark while her eyes were big and grey, reminded Joseph of his Olivia. However, unlike Olivia, who had fire burning in her eyes all the time, this girl had fragile beauty that longed for protection and tenderness. Joseph was stunned by Violet’s unusual beauty. For the first time since Olivia’s death, Joseph was able to forget his painful loss.

                As the two became closer and closer, love began to grow inside their young hearts. His new love allowed Joseph to forget his anguish and continue his life. “You are the cure for the bleeding wound in my heart,” said Joseph before he leaned to kiss Violet’s lips softly.

From a dark corner, Olivia saw Joseph and Violet’s first kiss. She was furious. However, she was not the only one who was unhappy about Joseph and Violet. John was also pissed to see the girl whom he had secretly loved and his best friend together.

                Olivia could smell John’s hatred and flew to the man’s house. She went to his ear and whispered a devilish suggestion.

“Kill him,” she whispered cruelly. “The girl is yours, but he steals her from you. He has betrayed you! You have the right to do it! Kill him!”

The resentful John could not use his mind to think clearly at that time. He took his gun and rushed to Joseph’s house. He knocked the door and, as soon as Joseph opened it for him, killed his best friend with a single shot.

Violet, who was also there in Joseph’s house, was down on her knees and cried next to Joseph’s dead body.

“How could you do this?” she asked John hysterically. “He was your best friend!”

John did not say anything for a moment. He stared at his hand and the gun it was holding. He fell on his knees and started crying. With tears pouring from his eyes, John took his gun again and shot his own head with it.

                Joseph turned into a ghost and was enthusiastically welcomed by Olivia. Knowing what Olivia had done, Joseph acted coldly towards her.

“You said you loved me,” said Joseph, “but now look at what you have done! This is not love. You do not love me. You are selfish!”

Olivia was startled to hear what Joseph said. She felt very irritated and was very angry at Joseph. While Olivia was still burned by her exasperation, Joseph flew away to find Violet.

                Joseph found Violet kneeling next to his grave. She was holding a bouquet in silence, but Joseph could see tears falling from her bright eyes. Even though he knew that Violet would not be able to actually hear his words, he approached her and went to her ear.

“I love you,” he whispered, “and even if you stop crying for me, I will always know that you feel the same.”

Violet sobbed and trembled, and then put the bouquet on the grave. After a long gaze to the tombstone, she stood up and slowly walked away.

Anna and the Alien

Anna has got her heart broken before. A few times, actually. The plot of her love stories is always the same one. She meets a guy. She lets her guards down. She falls in love with the guy, slowly but usually really, really hard. She lets the guy keep her hanging for so long. And then it ends. Just like that, before it even starts. And then, of course, her heart is broken.

            

When it happens, it feels like there is a baby alien in her chest, ready to tear her skin and burst, like in the movie Alien. She doesn’t know what the alien is made of. Anger? Hatred? Sadness? Disappointment? Regret? Sometimes the alien moves away from her chest to her eyes. It usually changes its form into teardrops and frees itself from a cage that is Anna’s body through her eyes. The latter one is easier for the alien; it’s usually hard for Anna to hold her tears.

            

Anna hates feeling heartbroken. She shouldn’t be worried because she knows exactly what she has to do to avoid it: don’t fall in love.

           

But can she do that? Hell, no.

           

It had been a year since the last time Anna saw Ray, the last guy. She had accepted the fact that she couldn’t be with him, that he didn’t feel the same way, that she was only a friend for him, that she was never his girlfriend anyway, that he wasn’t the right one for her, blah blah blah… The baby alien had come out. She had moved on. She had convinced herself that it was better for her to be on her own. She had promised to herself that she wouldn’t let herself fall in love again and that she would focus on other precious things in her life.

            

But then she met Jay.

            

When she first met him, she foolishly thought that things would be different with him. He created butterflies and let them fly around in her stomach. He whispered lovely words and sweet promises to her ears. He held her hands and made her feel safe and serene. He embraced her when she was cold and made her feel warm. Oh, this must be true love, she thought.

            

Four months later, the baby alien returned. Just like in the Alien movies.

Sometimes Anna wonders why this keeps happening. Why does that crazy little thing people call love keep coming to her and breaking her heart?  She doesn’t even want it to come to her; she doesn’t even look for it. She is perfectly fine being single and all she wants is to be happy. “Why?” she always asks the walls of her room, but no one has ever answered.

(I was just in the mood to write a story and happen to have something to write about, so I made this unusual blog post haha. It feels really good to turn your thoughts and feelings into a piece of writing! Hope you enjoy it!)

My Spoiler-Free Star Wars: The Force Awakens Review

Yesterday, December 18th 2015, Star Wars: The Force Awakens was finally released in my country. Before, it was set to be released on the 16th here, which made me make plans to see it on the 17th, my last day of work before the Christmas holiday. It would be perfect to celebrate the beginning of the much-anticipated holiday by watching this movie with your loved ones, right? My brain was so ready to see it on the 17th too. So, when it was announced that it would be released on the 18th, I was SO MAD. Well, I just had to wait for one more day, but still... It's a typical fangirl problem.

So, I watched it alone yesterday because my usual date could not watch it with me due the sudden change and the fact that he is so busy. It was actually good to see it alone. I could focus on the movie and go on the crazy fangirl mode freely haha.

How is the movie? It is AWESOME. Here is a list of things that I love about the movie:

1. They keep the traditional Star Wars things. It felt really amazing to see the writing "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away" showed up at the beginning. And then the title and a short explanation of the current situation came up in the famous Star Wars style with the classic theme song as the background music. Man, I almost cried seeing them. The famous quotes like "May the Force be with you" and "I have a bad feeling about this" are kept too, which strenghtens the Star Wars feel of this movie. 

2. The new heroine, Rey. Two thumbs up for Daisy Ridley for bringing this character to life. She is just so lovable and relatable. She has a heart that is pure, kind and brave but lonely and scarred. She reminds me of young Luke, actually. The fact that she is a girl and the main character in the movie makes me really proud. The previous trilogies are led by male protagonists but this time we have a female protagonist, which is really cool. I hope this character will develop and become even better in the upcoming films.   

3. Another new character, Finn. He's just so funny and sweet. And lovable too, just like Rey. I'm still curious about his background, though. I have a feeling he is related to someone from the previous films haha. Well, I hope we will get to know more about his past in the next movies. 

4. The Darth Vader of the new generation, Kylo Ren. If Rey resembles young Luke, Kylo resembles young Anakin Skywalker. Like Anakin, Kylo seems to be very... conflicted. He certainly finds it difficult to control his anger, just like Anakin. I like this villain because, you know, I love complex characters haha. Kylo is involved in two insanely shocking scenes in the movie that made my jaw drop. Prepare yourself for those scenes!

5. The original trio. Luke, Leia and Han don't have much screen time in The Force Awakens. We all love those three characters but I think it's good to make them the supporting characters. The fact that they don't dominate this movie is kind of surprising but it makes the story more natural. These characters blend with the new characters and support the story when it is needed. I like this.

6. The flying scenes. The Millenium Falcon, the X-Wing... Oh, the flying and shooting scenes are cool and fun and so Star Wars.

7. The lightsaber fight scenes. They are not as classy as the lightsaber fight scenes in the prequel trilogy; they are more... rough here. But I think this goes well with the story. The ones who fight with the lightsabers in The Force Awakens are not trained Jedi Knights while the ones in the prequels are trained Jedi Knights in their glorious days. So, it makes sense if their fighting style is more rough. However, I hope we will be able to see the prequels' sophisticated kind of lightsaber fights in the future films. The prequels might not have remarkable storylines but their fight scenes are really, really cool.

8. The famous supporting characters from the original trilogy. Chewbacca! R2-D2! C-3PO! Seeing these characters again after all this time made me smile. I really wish we could also see other characters from the past films like Master Yoda, Obi-wan Kenobi, Ahsoka Tano, Mace Windu and, of course, Darth Vader. But I don't think it's going to happen *sigh*.

So, overall, the movie is amazing. As a fan, I'm genuinely satisfied and happy about it. Thank you, JJ Abrams and his crew, for bringing back our beloved saga in a classy way!

Rating  : 5/5

What I Got from My Last Outings

Since I graduated from university, I haven't been spending much time with my college friends. It's just so hard for us to meet because we all work in different places and have different schedules now. This is sad because we used to spend a lot of time together and have so much fun. I miss those days when I got to see my friends every day, attend classes with them, eat with them, complain about the tasks that the lecturers gave us together... I miss my college friends so much.

But, I got the chance to see some of my best friends over the last few weeks. Two weeks ago I went to see The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 with my fangirling partner, Lia, and my super busy PE teacher friend (hahaha). Last week, I met my mentoring group members (I used to be a mentor for junior students when I was still a student). And yesterday I had an early Christmas lunch with my former co-workers, most of whom are my college friends too. Seeing them makes me really happy and I hope we all can do that more often.

My blog post is not complete if it does not include book and movie stuff haha. So, yeah, I am still going to review something here. As I said before, I saw The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 two weeks ago. I didn't just see it in the cinema, actually; I saw it with 499 other people who are diehard fans of the Hunger Games saga from the saga's fan community. It was really fun because everyone was so excited and passionate about the movie (they screamed a lot during the viewing event). We got some cool Hunger Games merchandises too.

Katniss and her star squad in The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

For the movie itself, I think it's a good one. My favorite from the saga is still the second movie, Catching Fire, but Mockingjay Part 2 is still a great conclusion to the saga. My favorite thing about the movie is probably the acting. I don't know why I didn't realize this before, but Jennifer Lawrence's portrayal of Katniss is really good. She truly transforms herself into the character. When I saw the movie, I didn't see Jennifer at all because I only saw Katniss. I am always fascinated by actors who are able to do that. I think Josh Hutcherson does a great job too. Just seeing him and his traumatized expression makes me sad. My favorite character dies (in a horrible death scene that involves mutants with sharp teeth) in the movie, so I'm so broken-hearted haha.

When I was waiting for my mentoring friends to come last week, I strolled around a bookstore and found a novel that I had wanted to read. The novel is Rainbow Rowell's Fangirl. Rainbow's other novel, Eleanor & Park, is one of my favorite books (read my review of it here). It is simply beautiful, easy to read and, like Park says in the book, really makes you feel something. So, I hope Fangirl is just as awesome as Eleanor & Park. I'm pretty sure I will be able to relate to the story because even the title is so... me haha.

Rainbow Rowell's Fangirl

That's all from me today. I'm sure it will take some time until I can write my review of Fangirl, but I'm definitely going to review it. Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens is coming to theaters in less than two weeks and I can assure you that I'm gonna watch and review it as soon as it is released. I hope I can see the movie on the first day because I just can't wait any longer haha.

Have a wonderful year-end holiday! :)

Thoughts on The Light Between Oceans and Spectre

After a long, long time, I finally managed to finish reading The Light Between Oceans! Actually, I finished reading the book a few weeks ago, but it has been really hard for me to find the time to write about it. I go out a lot during the weekends now. and when I don't, I am usually too lazy or too tired to write haha. But now I miss writing, so I will write my thoughts on that book and the movie that I saw recently, Spectre. Oh, there might be spoilers ahead, so watch out haha.

THE LIGHT BETWEEN OCEANS BY M.L. STEDMAN

In this book, there are three lives that get intertwined. Those are the lives of Tom Sherbourne, a war hero who signs up as a lighthouse keeper after he comes back from the war; Isabel Graysmark, Tom's young wife who longs for a child but keeps losing the chance to have one; and Hannah Roennfeldt, a woman whose life falls apart after she loses her husband and baby.

After losing their third baby, Tom and Isabel find a boat that carries a baby girl floating in the sea near the island where they live in isolation. Even though Tom is hesitant in doing it, they decide to keep the baby because Isabel thinks the baby is a gift from God after all the pain that they have been through. Little do they know, their decision will heavily impact someone else's life and their own future.

This story is such a beautiful one. I really love the words that the author choose to tell the story. The story is actually quite dark because it explores how death and loss can affect people, but somehow the words give the sense of purity and innocence to it. This gives me a mixed feeling. The beauty of the diction makes me admire the story, but what happens in the story itself makes my heart hurt. So, yeah, this book gives me all the feels.

Another thing from the book that touches my heart is the moral message. The message of this story is very common, very true, but often forgotten by people: let it go. We often forget that sometimes we should not enforce things, that we should just let go of them. We often forget this, like Isabel, who cannot accept the fact that she has lost her babies and insists in keeping a baby that is not hers. Like Hannah, who cannot accept the fact that her daughter has changed and can never be the one that she used to be. Things just get worse when they cannot let those things go, but when they are finally able to do it, the tangled problems just disentangle themselves. I like how this message is delivered in this book.

Rating : 4/5

SPECTRE

Spectre is the twenty-fourth Bond movie and Daniel Craig's fourth Bond movie. This time, it features Oscar winner Christoph Waltz, who plays the main villain, Lea Seydoux and Monica Bellucci as the Bond girls. Ralph Fiennes, Naomie Harris and Ben Whishaw join Daniel Craig in reprising their roles as M, Moneypenny and Q.

Ben Whishaw and Daniel Craig as Q and Bond

Even though Dame Judi Dench's M died in Skyfall, she is still the one who sends Bond for a mission in this movie. It turns out that she recorded a video for Bond before she died, which tells him to kill a man and attend the man's funeral. This funeral leads Bond to a secret organization, which surprisingly connects him with some enemies from his past.

Actually, I am not a fan of Bond movies, but I really enjoyed the previous Bond movie, Skyfall. So, I had quite high expectation for Spectre. After finally seeing it, I must say that I am quite disappointed. The story is not engaging at all. And I was really tired and cold when I was watching the movie, which makes it even harder for me to follow the story haha.

The acting element is not impressive either. Not bad, just not impressive. This is quite surprising because the actors who are involved in this movie are great, talented actors. I still love watching Ben Whishaw's Q here, though. I love how he represents young people in Bond movies. And he has more screen time here, which makes me happy haha.

Rating : 2,5/5

Movie Reviews: Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials & The Martian

It's getting harder to find time to do my hobbies these days.

I still haven't finished reading The Light Between Oceans. I haven't been watching the second season of How to Get Away with Murder. I haven't been posting my writings here... My weekdays are just sooo exhausting because there are sooo many things to do at school. The terrible traffic in Jakarta makes it even worse; it takes hours for me to reach my office from my house and vice versa. At the end of every day, I'm always super exhausted. I just have no strength to do anything. Thankfully, I manage to keep my weekends free from work-related thingy, so I can have some time to rest and do my hobbies, like today.

Today I want to write about the two movies that I saw recently: Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials and The Martian. Here are my thoughts on those two films.

MAZE RUNNER: THE SCORCH TRIALS

This movie is adapted from James Dashner's novel, The Scorch Trials (read my review of it here) and the sequel to last year's The Maze Runner. As I wrote in my review of the book, the one thing that I don't like about it is how Thomas seems to obey WICKED. Luckily, the director of the movie adaptation, Wes Ball, seems to agree with me. He alters one part of the story (SPOILER ALERT! Thomas and his friends escape from the WICKED facility and go out to The Scorch instead of going to The Scorch because Janson tells them to do so) in the movie, which changes everything. This change keeps the burning spirit to reach freedom there. I like this a lot.

Top: Minho (Kihong Lee), Thomas (Dylan O'Brien) & Newt (Thomas Sangster)
Bottom: Harriet (Nathalie Emmanuel), Teresa (Kaya Scodelario) & Brenda (Rosa Salazar)

Despite the major change that I mentioned above, there are sooo many differences between the book and the movie. Some fans might not like it, but I don't mind. To be honest, I like the story of the movie more haha. The action sequences are just as tense as the ones in the first movie. I think the Cranks chase scenes are the best ones; those scenes made me hold my breath for a long time! I love the settings too; they are grander than the ones in The Maze Runner. I miss The Glade, though. I just love the concept of The Glade haha. And I love the cast too, of course! Dylan O'Brien, Kaya Scoelario, Thomas Sangster, Kihong Lee, Jacob Lofland, Rosa Salazar, Nathalie Emmanuel etc give such enjoyable performances.

Rating : 3,5/5

THE MARTIAN

The next movie is the one that I saw yesterday: The Martian. The movie is about a botanist named Mark Watney (Matt Damon) who is left alone in Mars because his crew thinks he is killed when an unexpected storm hits them during their expedition in the red planet. This movie is directed by Ridley Scott and full of great actors such as Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Kate Mara, Sebastian Stan, Kristen Wiig, Jeff Daniels etc.

The Martian is full of great actors, but Matt Damon is definitely the shining star in the movie

When I first read the synopsis of the film, I thought The Martian was going to be very emotional and full of dramatic death scenes like other astronaut movies, such as Interstellar and Armageddon. But it turns out that it is not like that at all. The Martian is surprisingly funny and enjoyable. Matt Damon's Watney is completely alone in Mars and has no one to talk to except his webcam, but he delivers so many hilarious monologues. I laughed a lot when I saw the movie yesterday.

Mark Watney is definitely the most interesting character in The Martian. I expected him to weep and get totally depressed in that planet because, dude, he is left alone in Mars! But he does not. Even when he first realizes that he is left alone in the red planet, he doesn't get panicked. Instead, he keeps thinking, uses his knowledge and solves the problems that come to him. I think this is a great approach and it makes The Martian different from other astronaut films. This also shows to us that the ones that matter are not the problems, but the way we choose to see and deal with them. Matt Damon definitely stands out in this movie. I love Jessica Chastain's and Kate Mara's characters too, though. Strong, brave and smart female characters always make me proud haha.

Rating : 4/5